All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today
I’m officially missing you

-Tamia-

It’s been a melancholy week. I know I’m not supposed to be listening to sad, break-up songs. But please give me a break for just this one day.

I guess the best way to describe how I’ve been is through this little (poem?) that the writer in me suddenly spurted out today:

I wish I could lock up the part of my heart

That still yearns for your smile, your words, your touch

Everytime I look into your eyes

I find myself falling again

Like the time we first talked

The time you first asked for a hug

The time we first went on a walk

There’s no replacing first loves

But there’s no going back either

Looking through our pictures

I’m reminded of my best friend

And the promises that we made

But in the end broke to pieces

I guess it must have been real

I hope these words are as raw and real as I feel. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this for so long before. The first two weeks were okay, and I was able to forget and move on. But just recently, the memories and heartbreak have been hitting me like unpredictable waves.

It still hurts. I’ve found that I haven’t truly moved on. But I guess this is one of those precious experiences in life that God is using to grow me. When I start to sink into sorrow, I would cry out to Jesus and recite a Bible verse in my head, claiming it as God’s promise to me. And then I would feel His peace and love wash over me. So I’ve learnt to find my strength and love in God.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Some days are worse than others, but healing is a process. And so many things have happened since that fateful day I made the decision to walk away from the guy. But I’ll talk about all that later in another post.

I just really want to thank God for the family and friends that he has put in my life. They’re really been putting up with my blue mood and encouraging me all the way. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.

Dear reader, I believe that God uses hard times to shape us and mold us into who He wants us to be. Whatever you’re going through, or whatever happens in the future, cry out to Jesus and find comfort in His presence and Word. He loves you.

May the Shalom of the Lord be with you.

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