I’m breakin’ down
Gonna start from scratch
Shake it off like an etch-a-sketch
My lips are saying goodbye
My eyes are finally dry
It’s easy to say ‘I’m letting go.’ It’s not so easy to actually let go.
Here’s a picture of me last week: Replaying all of my conversations with him, seeing if he still notices me, trying to get his attention… all about him! I tried to just snap out of it, but my thoughts kept drifting to him and I grew moody. My heart physically ached like someone was squeezing the life out of it.
So this is what heartbreak looks like.
I was basically pulling everyone around me into my misery and it sucked. I knew I had to stop but I just didn’t know how. So I sought God and advice from my close friend, and found some ways to overcome this hurt. Here are some tips from my current experience in overcoming and growing stronger after a recent relationship issue:
Start a daily devotion.
I use the YouVersion Bible App, which has PLENTY of devotions that last for some time. You can pick devotions about different topics and written for different age groups. I am currently doing the 30 Days of Heartwork Devotion and it has really been challenging me in the way that I think, live and perceive the world/people around me. Set aside a specific time each day to read the devotion and talk to God about it. This helps me to keep my focus on God and His Word, rather than dwelling on my past hurts.
Spend more time with your loved ones.
These are people in your life who LOVE you and want to see you break free from your chains of sadness. Spend more time with them, and when you do, don’t keep talking about your heartbreak (see the next point for more advice on this). Fill your days with good memories with your family and friends, instead of trying to wallow in self-pity alone.
Don’t keep talking about it.
You’ve told them the story at least five times already. Enough is enough! The more you talk about something, the more you are allowing it to stay in your mind and thinking space. Not only will it annoy the people around you, but you’re just going to make yourself feel even worse after trying to analyze what happened. Tell your friends to stop you and change topics if you start talking about it. Words have power. Use your words to spread joy and not misery.
Do what you love.
Do you like singing? Playing your guitar? Playing football with your gang? Set yourself time to do these things. Not only will it take your mind off negative thoughts, but you are being more productive. But this doesn’t mean you completely immerse yourself in work or an activity! The goal is not to tire yourself out but to redirect your time and energy to do something worthwhile. Show yourself that there is more worth and purpose to your life than one single person.
Delete your heartbreak playlist. Now.
The music we listen to sets our mood. Upbeat music makes us want to get moving. Acoustic, relaxing music calms us down. Heartbreak songs make us want to cry and keeps us in a mood. So don’t allow yourself to be in that situation. You want to set yourself in a positive, encouraging environment, not one which drains all your joy.
Remember: Jesus loves you. He loves you so so much. He hates to see you crying and stuck in a rut about a guy/girl who broke your heart. So run to him and let His love fill your hurting heart.
You can do this. You can overcome. God is with you. Move on.
May the Shalom of the Lord be with you.