I wake you up with some breakfast in bed
I’ll bring you coffee
With a kiss on your head
And I’ll take the kids to school
Wave them goodbye
And I’ll thank my lucky stars for that night

-James Arthur-

This is currently one of my favourite songs. I think it really resounds with the romantic part of me. My dreams of living and growing old with my husband.

I think many people have such dreams. I know I’ve talked about this before – yearning for the perfect boyfriend, feeling loved, feeling like you have someone you can lean on. I thought I had gotten over that stage but no.

I’ve been holding on to someone, even when I knew that we’re not right for each other. Maybe because he’s been the one who was there for me when I needed a friend the most. Maybe because we have our own inside jokes and traditions. Maybe because I’ve been relying on him for so long.

People have been telling me to let go since last year. My cell members, my best friends, my mother. This week, I even read a devotion about letting go. But still I held on. I was scared of letting go.

But then last night, AGAIN, I heard the message of letting go during my campus youth gathering. The first passage we read said it all:

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.

And it just hit me. It was somthing I knew all along, but I tried to push it away and ignore it. I tried to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. But in reality, this guy was getting in the way of my relationship with God. Instead of talking to God, I talked to him. Instead of reading God’s Word, I read his text messages. In the morning, I woke up, and the first thing I thought about was him.

I knelt before the Lord and repented for not putting Him first. It was the first time I just stayed in His presence for so long, praising Him and crying out from my heart. It was a raw moment of surrender.

And so I’ve decided to let go. And I have let go. With a lot of pain and hurt and a little bit of regret. I’ll miss the good morning snaps. But I know I need to do this. I need to put God first. I want to walk into the destiny that God has set out for me. I want the breakthrough in my spiritual life.

And so now, I listen to this song with bittersweet feelings. But I know God has already prepared someone for me. For now, I just want to focus on becoming closer to Him and being marked by His presence.

So, dear reader, if there is anything that is hindering you in your relationship with God, let go. Just let go. Because even though it’s going to hurt for a while, it’s going to be so worth it. Because nothing can beat the beautiful, forever-lasting relationship we can have with our loving Father.

May the Shalom of the Lord be with you.

I’m so in love with you
And I hope you know
Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold
We’ve come so far my dear
Look how we’ve grown
And I wanna stay with you
Until we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

-James Arthur-

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