But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me the jacket when it’s cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

-Tori Kelly-

I’m a hopeless romantic (yes, that was a song reference). I like guys who hold open the door for me, carry my bag for me and look out for me. And they even get more bonus points if they are really tall, dark and handsome.

Like in the song, sometimes, I just want somebody to hold me close, grow old with and just be able to call him my man. Just knowing that there is someone you can always go to and that he’ll protect you is so comforting, y’know?

But it’s so dangerous. And so emotionally draining. Because what if he’s not a follower of Christ like me?

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

Does that make him a bad person? No! In fact, he is much much kinder than me.

But througout this whole time of me liking him and me wondering if he likes me back, it’s just been so tiring. Crying, wondering, replaying things he said  – it just takes up so much of my time and energy, and I feel like I’m wasting away.

And even though it has been nagging at my conscience for the past week, I only really felt the weight of it yesterday – I’ve been falling back in my relationship with God. And on the car ride to a church event, I struggled with God: “Why can’t I like him God? Why can’t I date him? He’s a great guy! I don’t want to lose him to someone else because I didn’t take this opportunity. He respects that I’m a Christian anyway.”

I entered the church event with a headache and a heavy heart. We were discussing James 2:14 – What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?

We came to a conclusion that deeds are the products of real faith, and show our obedience to God. That word really hit me: Obedience. And I felt even more convicted when my leader asked us to get into groups and share a time when we had been disobedient to God.

And so I shared about this situation. I poured my heart out. And some of them could relate because they had experienced the exact same thing as me! Then these older, wiser women advised me: although I may be abe to grow in my relationship with the non-Christian guy, I wouldn’t be able to grow spiritually. Because I wouldn’t have someone to tell me to seek God when I have troubles, someone to pray with, someone to hold me accountable in my relationship with God. Then they said that if I didn’t draw the boundaries now, it would be so much more difficult if I arrived at the situation where I would have to choose to progress on with the guy or not.

I cried. I’m not going to lie. My heart hurt so so much and I just kept saying: “I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want to let him go.” But when I got home, I fell into a deep, restful sleep. And when I woke up, WOW. This amazing glorious peace just invaded my heart .

Even now, I am still struggling with this issue. But now I am more willing, more open to let God into my love life. And I pray that I will be able to make the right, godly choice when the time comes.

And dear reader, wherever we are in our relationships, I pray that we will always seek God and not let our emotions get in the way of our relationship with Him and our spirituality.

May the Shalom of the Lord be with you.

But I’d love to have a soulmate
And God’ll give him to me someday
And I know it’ll be worth the wait, oh

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you
But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right
You’ll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

-Tori Kelly-

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2 thoughts on “Dear No One

  1. I love Tori Kelly and this is one of my favourite songs of hers. Thank you for sharing your experience and honestly I’m only a teen but talking to God about falling in love and boy issues, is one the best things to do! God bless you ❤️

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